Big Prayers, Big Plans

A couple of weeks ago I talked about my applications for Order of St Stephen and Period of Discernment. Both are moving along well and I'm getting excited about both of them.

Thursday week I have an interview for Order of St Stephen (OSS). It's the interview to determine whether or not I am a suitable candidate for the Order. If I'm okayed then it's a matter of finding a placement for me. There is no guarantee that there's a placement for me if Thursday goes well, so I'm trying to keep my enthusiasm or anticipation to a minimum. It's in God's hands.

Surprisingly I'm not nervous ... at the moment. It's just a conversation with three people. One, I know, another I've met a few times and the third I've spoken to on the phone and we've talked about the questions that will be covered. Saying that, if you ask me on Thursday morning, I might have a different story for you! Hopefully not. Just pray I manage to speak at a normal speed, not "Kimspeak" (ie. fast!)

Next Tuesday I have another meeting/interview/conversation/thing. This one is with the registrar at a Theological College about the possibility of changing my current unfinished Arts degree at Monash Unit, to a BA/BTheol there. That seems huge to me, Exciting, but huge. I'm worried about this decision. The College's booklet came to my minister and he read it and thought that it might be right for me. So, I read the booklet and it sounds really good but it does mean finishing my Arts degree and still finishing it at Monash. That scares me. I didn't cope really well with uni and going back to finish the degree, in the same place that I struggled with it before, seems like it's almost inviting trouble again.

So why am I investigating this?

This year the idea of chasing possibilities and God directing the outcome has been a recurring theme. As has the theme of taking risks. I've been challenged to step out in faith and trust that if it's supposed to happen, then God will make it happen and things will fall into place. If it's not for me then the door/s will be closed. So, with that idea comes my responsibility to take the risk and investigate opportunities, which is what I'm now doing! (Or at least trying to do.)

A third exciting thing in this journey happened this afternoon. With my Period of Discernment (POD) "The Rev" has been asking a couple of people if they would be willing to be the mentor for me over this time. We had four people on the short list to ask. The first person I got to know earlier this year through my involvement at NCYC. They are a very busy person so I didn't expect anything to come of the request. I received a copy of an email this afternoon, from "The Rev" saying that this person has agreed to be my mentor. I'm so excited about this. I thought it was an almost ridiculous idea because of her workload, but it's happening. Which is so exciting. Did I say that already? :)

Those are my plans, and how they're progressing. I'll keep praying about everything and if this isn't the path I'm supposed to be following, if the door is shut, then I'll pray some more and find out where I am supposed to be going. (I sound very calm, collected and peaceful don't I? We'll see how long that lasts!)

Faith and appointment

Last night I was being a good girl and 'studying'. (I know it's shocking for me to study, that's why I use the term very lightly!) I was reading Acts and came across this verse in chapter 13: 48b

"When the Gentiles heard this, they were glad and honored the word of the
Lord: all who were appointed for eternal life believed."

I thought it was pretty cool. Last year I read Lee Strobel's Case for Christ and Case for Faith. In one of those books, (I'm not sure which, though I suspect Case for Faith) Strobel says that he believes God gives us many opportunities for us to believe in Him but it is us that turns our back on God by not taking up the invitation. Therefore when someone doesn't believe in God it's not from lack of opportunity.

On the surface that sounds pretty good but I'm not sure how the rest of it sits with me at the moment. It almost takes some of our responsibility to share our faith with people.

As I said still thinking through this one but in the meantime I still like the idea that people are appointed for eternal life what we need to do is have faith. As the note in my NIV Bible says "Possession of eternal life involves both human faith and divine appointment."

Choices

After my last post about the choices I have made and what paths I am currently pursuing Sunday's sermon was an affirming one for me. (In fact, I ended up feeling rather smug which is not so good!)

In his sermon "The Rev" spoke a bit about making choices. He said that we tend to put choices off for as long as we can, hoping that by the time we get around to having to make up our mind, the outcome with be a certainty. I admit I'm guilty of that.

He also said that choices go on and on and need to be remade or recommitted to all the time. That 'the first choice is a critical turning point but the choice goes on'. As I'm feeling very empowered by the batch of decisions I've made recently, I think that's something very important for me and for everyone, to remember.

So, I'm still feeling pretty happy with myself for actually having made decisions that I've put off for years, but I mustn't think that's all there is to it.

Next Year

Recently I've been planning for next year. I know, I know, it's only early November (and 32 degrees in Melbourne already!) but I've had to start applying for things now.

All this preparation has put Jamie Cullum's Next Year in my head. The lyrics really get me thinking about the plans and resolutions that I make.

Next year, things are gonna change
Gonna drink less beer, and start all over
again
Gonna read more books, gonna keep up with the news
Gonna learn how
to cook, spend less money on shoes
I'll pay my bills on time, and file my
mail away, everyday
Only drink the finest wine, and call my Gran every
Sunday

Resolutions, baby they come and go
Will I do any of these
things? The answers probably no
If there's one thing I must do, despite my
greatest fears
I'm gonna say to you, I felt all of these years
Next Year
Next Year

Like anyone, I've made plenty of new years resolutions (or resolutions in general) that I haven't kept. This year I decided to give up chocolate, not because I'm boycotting anything but just to prove to myself that I can.

My first plan for next year has been application to complete a year of service to the church through the Order of St Stephen. As part of the application I had to write down why I was applying. I really struggled to get my thoughts down. I know why I want to follow this path but to write it out ... I found it really difficult. I finally finished it and sent it off. I was pretty happy with it (until I re-read it now). I'm not sure why I couldn't find the words to say what I wanted to say but I couldn't.

The Order of St Stephen is a year of service to God. There are many different areas that you can serve in (they're listed on the page that I've linked above). For me, I want next year to be a conscious effort at giving everything to God. I know that giving ourselves to God to use should be the norm but I want to deliberately and intentionally to make the space for God to use me. Deliberately setting aside this year is more for me to make a commitment than it is for God!

I'm hoping to learn more about myself and about God during the year and my relationship with Him. To do that I'm also planning to take on a Period of Discernment at the same time as the Order of St Stephen (OSS). A Period of Discernment (POD) is a time to investigate God's will for your life. You meet with a mentor monthly (I think) to discuss your journey and you have to opportunity to undertake some study and also to serve in some aspect. So by taking up these two opportunities in the one year I'm planning to really focus on God's involvement in my life and at the end of it all make some decisions with that knowledge. The next step; to argue and fight with myself as I write a (hopefully) coherent explanation of these decisions for the POD application forms. Wish me luck!